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Alice said, “Let me talk about this. Shortly after we had loosened up enough to have sex with others, a challenge was laid down for us by one of our members to spend the week with someone other than your spouse. I ended up paired with a man I really liked a lot, Owen. He happened to have the resources to take me to Paris and Rome for that week, and it remains the most romantic week of my life. I damn near left David to spend the rest of my life with him, but I stopped myself literally at the last second.“The instant that I saw David after having been with my lover for that week, I knew I had to make a decision. It wasn’t a contest; I chose my husband. It was damn hard, because I wanted the other man, too. As it turned out, I got both of them, but I didn’t know that at the time. I thought it was an either-or decision. I had to un-fixate.”“How’d you let that man go if you felt that way? Say more.”“I had to focus on what I needed to keep and what I needed to let go of in my life, and it. I wanted the space and independence and splashed out as soon as I could to get on to the housing ladder. Memories of moans from my parents echo in my ears, “When are you moving out Ellie?... How much have you saved?... You’re old enough to live on your own aren’t you?”I sighed. It was fine to leave it all behind, I was happy to have some space from the chores and the whining but there was something missing. There’s being “home alone” and there’s being “lonely at home”. I was leaning more and more towards the latter as the weeks went by. Occasionally I would have a few friends over and we would eat pizza, watching the x factor in comfy pyjamas. It only lasted for a night, sometimes I missed having somebody else to make me a cup of tea or clean my odd pot. Being long term single didn’t help either, it wasn’t that I couldn’t get guys, as I’ve already said, I’m just not a people person, talking didn’t come particularly naturally to me. I continued scrolling through Amazon's many.
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